I won't beat around the bush: I do not tolerate Ignorance and Racism in any way! And I urge you to unfollow me if you are not ready to take a look in the mirror.
I stand up for Self-Awareness. Part of Self-Awareness is, to be honest with yourself and take Ownership.
For the first time, since starting my Online Coaching journey, I have NOT been sharing any of my writing, except with my journal and some random posts on my Instagram.
I have NOT been writing any Blogposts, and I was so committed to starting that Blog!
I did NOT follow my commitment to going full into marketing my new H.O.M.E. Offer.
I did NOT follow my big morning routine, nor did I went to bed early to get enough sleep.
I also did NOT apply to any day job positions and my notice ends in less than 4 weeks. I did not generate a fund that could help me sustain for a few months, without worrying about how to pay my rent.
All of these things could be reason enough for blaming myself. But I don't. I fully do not blame myself in any way. And you know why?
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Because the world is (FINALLY?) waking up to the fact that people are in deep pain.
Because some of us feel UNSAFE in our own country.
Because some of us are being MISTREATED without any reason.
Because some of us are being TORTURED and KILLED for no reason.
Because some of us grow up feeling MISPLACED and GUILTY for just looking DIFFERENT.
To be honest, COVID itself did not affect me mentally. Nothing in my daily life changed for me.
What I and other of my friends strongly noticed though, was the amount of RACIST BEHAVIOUR GOING UP massively only 1 week after Lockdown.
I am not dark-skinned, but I grew up with a mother with a different cultural background in the midst of a Nazi Town in Germany and her being the ONLY foreigner.
I will keep the details for another time, but I can tell you one thing from first hand:
>>> When you grow up, looking different, and being HATED for it in forms of mental and physical abuse, you start to develop sensors. <<<
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Our unconscious is being formed in our Childhood by our surroundings. Our Caretakers, Teachers, Media, Peers, and others are going to INFLUENCE the way we are behaving and seeing the world.
Those sensors are being SENSITIZED to any threat reminding you of any event that happened in your Childhood that HURT you and/or your loved ones.
I grew up feeling I DON'T BELONG anywhere. I am bi-racial. I am not considered one of my fatherland. I am not considered one of my Motherland.
I can not fully identify with white people. I can not fully identify with Asian people.
Living in different countries in my youth and having to go to school in other countries and having to adapt to other languages and cultures has been a drag.
I met my first best friend when I moved to Geneva at the age of 11. She was from Angola and had the beautiful skin color of delicious 90% Dark Chocolate.
For the first time, I felt home. Not because she looked different, but we knew each other's PAIN.
We knew how it is to be KICKED around and being called names. We knew how it felt when people change the side of the street.
We knew about our CONFUSION because as a young child, you don't understand. You're not being educated - you're being shut down.
We knew how it was to hear from some of our elder peers, to "NOT SPEAK UP, because it's NOT worth it".
We knew how it was to see most of our elder peers, SACRIFICING themselves to ensure that we are well educated.
I have the biggest gift of having lived and worked with people with different cultural backgrounds and different social statuses.
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They all taught me ONE thing: We are all experiencing the same emotions. We all feel pain, joy, anger, love the same way.
It has also taught me, that there is so much INJUSTICE and IGNORANCE that needs to be addressed.
>>> No one, yes NO ONE!!!! has been born with hate. Not one single baby comes into this life experience with hate.
>>> Every single one, yes every one!!!! is born as a PERFECT human being, filled with LOVE and COMPASSION.
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It is only through our surroundings that we start to SHAPE our BELIEF system.
This whole protesting and building communities to stand together is giving me MIXED emotions.
On one side, I feel grateful to see how Social Media is able to SPREAD EDUCATION on a larger scale.
On the other side, I'm feeling HOPELESS and cynical because this is history repeating itself for the xxx time. Only that this time, more people are involved.
Even with all white people breaking down because they feel HELPLESS and seeing them making an effort to EDUCATE themselves, I'm trying my best to not stay HOPELESS.
Because I am.
TRUTH is, a lot of people don't care because they don't feel affected. Or even, they don't feel guilty in any way.
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Hidden racism is a thing. Remember the sensors that we get growing up and sensing threat?
I can not count the times anymore where I or others I know, have been reporting RACIST BEHAVIOUR from their bosses, co-workers, in the supermarket, in the club, and more.
Whenever we do have the nerves to address it, the response we get is always the fcking same: "Don't OVERREACT, I don't mean it that way"
Maybe you also heard or said some of those sneaky racist comments: "I am not a racist, I love you! I am not a racist, I work with so many different cultures and we get along so well! I am not a racist, my best friends are black! I am not a racist, I love Hip Hop! I am not a racist, I love to travel the world!"
The list goes on and on.
If you heard and addressed it, please be PROUD of yourself. You planted a seed and that's a big step!
If you said it without giving it a thought, now is the time to start the journey of Self-Awareness.
BECAUSE WE NEED CHANGE!
You can not always do the same thing and expect a different result, because it is NOT going to happen.
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When we experience racism, we start to feel GUILTY and question our OWN INTUITION. We SPEAK UP and we're being SHUT DOWN.
If you are one of those having been shut down because you felt MISTREATED and taken seriously, DON'T SHUT DOWN.
To make things even worse, most of us experiencing racism, don't have the means to ask for SUPPORT.
We grow up with the belief, that we're NOT WELCOME on this earth.
Most of us stay with our peers. We go to a poorly paid job, to save every single cent for the EDUCATION of our children.
We don't speak up, because nothing is going to change. History has shown it to us...
We don't know that there is such thing as coaches praising that you can BE and HAVE EVERYTHING you want if you put your mind to it.
We only believe what we see. And if we're staying in our bubble of thoughts like "that's just my DESTINY", we will never look up. We will never know that there are people trying to help.
I have worked with a black man, traveling OVER 100km every single day to clean toilets and being TREATED like SHIT.
I have worked with a black woman, who had an Accounting degree in Africa. She married a white man and moved to Europe only to work as a Housekeeper. When she got brain cancer, her husband left her, and doctors told her after a few years of treatment that they CAN NOT HELP anymore and left her in MISERY.
I have worked with Soldiers, Lawyers, Journalists, Medical Experts, and many more smart and humble people. They all have been DISCRIMINATED and SHUT DOWN to jobs that hardly pay the rent, because of how they look.
They don't complain, because they BELIEVE and ACCEPT that that's just the way it is.
If you can picture all these scenes and feel empathy, then MULTIPLY these emotions by an exponentially high number.
Black people are haunted by the ghost called RACISM since CENTURIES!
Dr. Martin Luther King and Malcolm X are just 2 of the biggest activists in history. They did make a BIG impact. They paved the way.
It is on to US to continue walking down that road together!
It can not be ok, that black people have to be AFRAID to see their loved ones go jogging or sit on a bench. EVERY DAY - ALL DAY living with the fear, that they can get KILLED.
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I am telling you these stories because I have CONVERSATIONS with these people.
Love doesn't know judgment and Love doesn't know HATE.
People connect strongest through PAIN, that's the first thing I learned in Happiness Coaching. Weird, right?
We communicate on an energetic level. All those amazing humble people taught me that.
I have always been the GLUE in every previous job. The BRIDGE between cultures, the person that they could express AUTHENTICALLY TO and be heard.
Because that's all I do: I LISTEN. I CARE.
If you are feeling HELPLESS because you don't know how you can make a CHANGE, take this one advice: Listen and don't judge.
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Self-Awareness has 2 IMPORTANT components:
Self Honesty and Compassion
I understand it is hard. But think of all those carrying their PAIN alone for decades if not centuries.
GET OVER YOUR EGO and look for conversations.
SMILE at people, you will not believe what difference that makes!!
Start conversations by finding something that you both like talking about. DON'T RUSH into the racism topic unless you want to.
Trust me, if we trust, we'll share.
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ACCEPT your mistakes, LEARN from it, SHARE it and MOVE ON.
And Please Please Please, stay COMPASSIONATE with yourself and others.
We live in a very VULNERABLE place right now and BLAMING ourselves is not doing anyone any favor.
If you come from a place of LOVE & COMPASSION and not from FEAR & ANGER, you are making much more of a change than following thousands of others who don't even know what they're doing.
Please don't send Love and Light, send SUPPORT and CARE!!
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I took off my Coaching Package Offer because I am directing my thoughts on HEALING myself as well.
If you read so far, you now have the chance to STAY with us on this journey or UNFOLLOW.
Please start EDUCATING yourself around the topic and don’t get lost in blaming and judging. We need to use all our resources to give black people the FREEDOM they deserve! Find some resources here:
Follow Rachel Cargle
Watch Nikka Karli’s Talk about The Impact Of Anti-Blackness In The Bodies Of BIWOC & White Creators Who Are Here For Change
The Adaway Group is a black woman-owned consulting firm that brings together multi-racial teams to work on projects related to equity, inclusion, and social justice.
Resmaa Menakem is providing a free course on learning the basics of Racialized Trauma, what you can do about it for yourself and your communities!
Feel free to share your resources in the Comments!
As I mentioned in the beginning, I do not support any Intolerance and Racism and stand up for Self-Awareness at any given time.
Wherever you are my beautiful soul, know that I am here rooting for your wellbeing. STAY SAFE!
XO,
Anabell
